In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The Olympian is in my bed
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