PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
