from now on my penis is your penis
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
