is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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