We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
