I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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