When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
