Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
