I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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