found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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