IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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