They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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