I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
