Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
