Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
