i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
