it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
