My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
