We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
