He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
