Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
