all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize