I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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