It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
