God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
