sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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