It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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