please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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