i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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