Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize