What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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