We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
