I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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