with your own penis?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
