Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
