so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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