Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
