I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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