But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
