Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
