Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
