Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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