is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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