she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Congratulations! We have a period
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