I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have demons in me.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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