So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize