He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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