His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
