So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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