so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize