All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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