just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
