this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
