So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
