he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
