brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
