Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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