I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
