clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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