I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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